We do in fact have squirrels in our attic. The soffit was old and damaged, thus providing a perfect entry for squirrels to find some nice shelter. When I called a wildlife removal company, they said to send them my information and they would get back to me because at that moment they were heading into a house that had a skunk in it! This made me think I have never had any problems ever.
Although I do not have a skunk in my house, I have been stressed about a few things. Sarah had a very rough week at school. I like to think that she had the equivalent of squirrels in her attic. In her case, the squirrels could be grief and hormones. My own experience of grief is that it can move in like a mountain sitting on top of me and it usually moves in when I am tired and or hungry. At home if Sarah is hungry she can get a snack right away, but at school everything is scheduled. Maybe pre-grief Sarah could handle being a little hungry but maybe mid-grief Sarah couldn’t. Or maybe pre-grief Sarah could handle not having time to finish her lunch or not getting to wear a gifted sweatshirt right away, but mid-grief Sarah couldn’t. Such situations are never her strong suit, but the meltdowns at school seemed bigger than usual compared to the trigger. Given that her period just started, I am hoping that it was the perfect storm of hormones and grief that threw everything into a tailspin. Fingers crossed. It is tricky to feel responsible for the behavior of another human being while simultaneously feeling powerless.
While I don’t have control over everything, I can work to support Sarah’s overall equilibrium. I can also ask others to do so when I can’t personally do it. Piano and swim lessons are always experiences Sarah enjoys, and Anna and Gregory gave Sarah wonderful loving support and focused playtime. After each session I thought maybe the next school day would be smooth sailing. The seas were not smooth, but my heart was full after overhearing these beautiful human beings interact with Sarah, especially because I was feeling so low that I didn’t have it in me to be loving and supportive.
Sarah’s sleep situation has been challenging for months, but we recently made a change that resulted in multiple nights of solid sleep. Sarah now sleeps next to me, and I go to bed at 8:30 when she does. Instead of it taking her the usual hour or three to fall asleep, she falls asleep easily within half an hour. She stays asleep almost all night instead of waking and calling for me every couple of hours. She stays asleep even when I get up to pee, whereas usually she wakes if I even think about rolling over. This is all very hopeful, even if it didn’t immediately improve her school experience. The big question is how to make the transition back to her being in her own bed, but I don’t dare attempt that until we have a solid week of smooth school days.
The changes in a sleep routine with Sarah were simple to make and the house was quieter than usual because Carl and Amy have been away for Amy’s mid-winter break. Carl took Amy to Utah for a ski trip so she could experience mountains that are bigger than those in Pennsylvania. Overall they had a wonderful time, although some parts were new and challenging for Amy. Carl and I are both in awe of Amy’s skills and bravery. I’m glad Carl has Amy for a skiing buddy because for such adventures it will never be me. I’m scared of heights, scared of going downhill fast, and I don’t like even the idea of possibly being out of control (I know that comes as a huge surprise).
Sarah and I had our own small adventure yesterday, going slowly on flat ground. We decided to go to Pigeon Bagels to get some bagels and cookies. I knew there was usually a line on Saturdays, but this was our first time experiencing it. While the bagel bags claim that the line goes fast, it does not in fact go fast at all. We stood in line for at least an hour. But! The birds were chirping, the sun was shining, there were friendly people behind us, and Sarah found stripes all around. She loved the stripes on the apartment buildings, the crosswalks, the double yellow line in the middle of the street, the stripes on her pants and shoes, and the green and white awning above the store. She was in stripe-heaven and it was nice to hang out easily for an hour with no pull to technology. At first I told myself we will never again go there on a Saturday, but now I wonder if that should be a new weekend plan. Let’s go stand in line and find stripes!
May you have adventures that are just your speed and may any squirrels vacate your attics.
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