Virtually everything I did this past week was virtual. Well, that’s not quite true, but I did have many more zooms than usual. One was about connecting more with my community and how I might want to make that happen. My first goal is to get to know everyone who lives on my block. One zoom was about Sarah’s post-secondary schooling. Two other zooms were to support me as a parent and as myself. I realized that I don’t have to berate myself as a failure just because my kids are still working on skills that other kids have mastered. When I berate myself I usually run away from working on those skills with the kids more, rather than encouraging them to practice. With more breathing room around my parenting, I had Sarah make her bed, as in, from the fitted sheet on up. She did it all herself with some help to fully pull the fitted corners into place and straighten blankets, but she got the basics, and I was able to outlast her protests. Another zoom was with a group of memoir authors who are also being published by She Writes Press. Lastly, I did my first podcast interview about my book! That was exciting and fun. I’ll share the link as soon as it is available.
Sarah’s week was mostly calm and uneventful, except for a difficult time in art class on Wednesday. She had been having more screamy moments at home, but this was the first at school this school year. The art they were making in class was dusty and Sarah loved the dust and then went to touch her face with dusty fingers. My guess is she might not even have realized she was doing it. The teacher told her not to touch her face with her dusty hands. Sarah exploded in upset. I know from my parenting moments that sometimes I can make a request calmly that seems like a small request, such as for Sarah to clean up the clothes on her floor, and that request is met with an enormous amount of upset. I’m not sure why Sarah was having some harder, screamier times, but my hypothesis is that we stopped having her sit on my lap every evening while Amy was in the bathroom. That’s because that method of helping her stay calm while Amy was in the bathroom worked so well, that Sarah didn’t need that level of closeness. Of her own accord over the last month or so, she switched to sitting on her bed instead of sitting in the hall outside the bathroom. I still sat with her and rubbed her feet, but we weren’t as close. When I used to sit with her on my lap, basically a long hug, I felt my own nervous system calm down. So, in case we need that daily calming time to help Sarah regulate the rest of her moments, I’m going to experiment with having her sit on my lap for a big hug for at least a couple of minutes every night.
Amy’s week was even more full than usual in terms of after school activities. Normally Thursday is the one day she doesn’t have something after school, but this past Thursday Amy went to an open house for a possible high school. She is still planning on applying to the arts program at CAPA, but if she doesn’t get in or changes her mind and still wants a change from her current school, now she has seen another option. It is a bigger school population-wise than I have ever attended, and that includes college. Amy liked a lot of what she saw, including the pool, but we don’t know if you can use the pool if you aren’t on the swim team, and she knows she doesn’t want to be on a swim team. She has tried that twice before and it is not at all what she enjoys.
Amy loves creating art on her face, and last night she designed a face to go along with being a robot princess. She used a face paint kit to make green sparkly lines all over, and crowned her head with sparkly green cat ears – as every robot princess hopes to have.
On Friday I taught my last continuing education class on the Alexander Technique for the foreseeable future. It has been wonderful teaching the classes and helping massage therapists figure out how to take better care of themselves while they work, but I’m ready to be done with that for now. I remind myself that just because I’m good at something doesn’t mean I need to keep doing it. Unrelated, but mind boggling, on my way home I stopped to get a few groceries and found the biggest sweet potato I have ever seen. It weighs over three pounds and is almost as big as my head!
The other excitement on Friday was a cat showdown in our family room. As Amy was leaving for school we noticed that a neighborhood cat was sitting on the outside window ledge. Our cat saw this too and her tail poofed and she growled a warning. She spent many minutes scoping things out and looking at the intruder from a safe distance. Eventually she hopped up on our inside windowsill and defended her territory. The other cat hopped down from its perch.
Lots of love to all of you. May you feel good enough about yourself to keep working at things that feel difficult.
Brilliant as always. It’s hard to let things that you are good at go isn’t it ? but things do change. I’m passing on ideas to Andy about your book journey too 🙏 well done on the podcast interview.