There is a certain je ne sais quoi about Sarah since she finished high school. She is drawing ever more thorough drawings of Granddad and of Tom’s taxi. She started weeding the yard, admittedly pulling up some things that maybe could have stayed rooted, but still! She did a load of laundry when her favorite shirt needed to be washed. She started sewing a blanket with Anna’s help, using pieces of patterned cloth gifted to her by a past volunteer. She seems more relaxed overall (or is that me?). She has sorted out a new way of handling her feelings when Amy takes a shower or takes a turn watching TV: she goes to take a shower in our basement bathroom. She also loves to do this when there is no obvious reason. Yesterday she took four showers and one bath! On the one hand this may seem excessive, but it is much preferable to her screaming and pounding on the bathroom door while Amy is using it, and it is a good alternative to technology.
Amy isn’t quite as relaxed as Sarah these days since she has two more weeks of school. Rather than things winding down, her assignments are ramping up for her Demonstrations Of Learnings (DOLs). She has loads of reading, writing, and arting to do because of course she incorporates art when at all possible.
Speaking of art, for my birthday present Carl arranged for me to take a one-night class about watercolors. The class was this past week, and I loved it!!! Having a teacher show all of the steps to recreating a picture made it seem easy, and yet, when I tried a second picture that he hadn’t demonstrated, it was clear I could use more help. Still, I’m astonished by what I have been able to create that is well beyond what I ever thought I could do. Yesterday I tried my hand at reproducing a bird painting that hangs in my dining room. My rendition makes me think of an Elvis impersonator with a snarky attitude wearing a toupee.
A year ago, Sarah’s sleeping abilities went awry and it has been an interesting year of trying to sort out what was wrong and how to help her get back to sleeping soundly through the night. For a while we were concerned that something was physically or medically wrong, but after moving her back into our room it seemed clear that it’s more of an emotional situation. After months of having her on a mattress on the floor in our room, she is back in her own bed, and Carl or I sleep on the floor mat in her room. Last night I implemented the next step towards helping her sleep independently. I really want to make sure we aren’t tricking her or hoping she sleeps through our leaving the room, because I want her to feel safe and like she completely trusts all parts of the situation. I also want to make the baby steps towards independence so small that they seem easy and doable. So last night I had her lie down in her dark bedroom as if going to sleep for one whole minute by herself before I went in. On the first try, she called for me after ten seconds. I went in and explained that it needed to be a minute of silence and that then I would come in. We tried again and she made it the whole minute! Tonight I will increase the time to ninety seconds or two minutes. Baby steps. It feels good to be taking any steps at all in this direction, and the baby steps feel right to my heart, so hopefully that is a good guide and someday she will be sleeping totally independently in her own bed in her own room.
Wishing you easy baby steps regarding anything that feels too big and impossible.
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