It turns out that I don’t always know how things will go.
A week ago Carl and I were in different states doing different big things and the girls were at home with Grandpa ready to start Camp Anna on Monday. Carl went to his 30 year high school reunion and had a wonderful time seeing his classmates. I went to Philadelphia for the American Library Association Annual Conference to be on a Featured Indie Author Showcase panel through Literacy Nation for one hour. I was excited and nervous and thrilled that my stepmom (aka Grammy) came with me. I also met up with Kathleen Somers, a fellow She Writes Press author who was a featured indie author with me. It was such an honor to be asked to be there, but we were a bit hidden in the hugeness of the event. The convention center is so gigantic and the attendees so numerous that if you didn’t know our event was happening you wouldn’t stroll in by accident. The conference spanned three floors and the schedule alone was rather mind-boggling. I think we had ten people in attendance, but that means those ten people really wanted to be there. I sold one book! It is exciting to say that I have been on a panel at the ALA Annual conference, even if it wasn’t quite what I thought it would be in my planning and anticipation.
The one thing I did know for sure was that Camp Anna would be amazing – and it was! It was creative, fun, respectful of all speeds and needs, and basically the best ever. I think I might want to enroll as a camper next year! Camp Anna, run by our multi-talented sitter, started during the pandemic when other camps weren’t possible from our perspective. It has continued and grown so this year two of Amy’s friends joined in the fun. They did painting with bleach, decorating clothes with iron-on patches, fabric markers, fabric paint, and bedazzlement if desired. They made bead jewelry, charm bracelets, and light-up musical notes with wires soldered behind cardboard. They scootered, went to a park, and went to a pool. They made challah and lemonade. They had a lemonade, challah, and art stand at the corner of our street. Sarah enjoyed standing there in the Granddad Position (named because of how he was standing in one beloved photograph from years ago) with her hands clasped behind her back. I bought a bracelet that Sarah braided all by herself except for help with the start and end. Did you ever think such a day would come? I did and didn’t – meaning that I did (and do) believe that Sarah can get everything eventually, and, this also completely knocks my socks off that she can braid! Amy made small drawings of characters that she created, back story and all. Her favorite is Bloop who owns over 300 top hats. I picked Ruby, a sunset cat whose fur looks like a rainbow and apparently has a toxic ex that she hates. For the last day they created a choose-your-own adventure that was presented to the parents so we got to decide what happened to the bus driver and feuding twins.
We celebrated Carl’s birthday once we were all together in one place. I made a carrot cake, and the girls helped to decorate it. Amy surprised Carl with a deck of personalized playing cards, largely around the theme of potatoes. She also snuck Pancake Cat into a gift bag. Pancake Cat is a stuffed “animal” that Carl finds ridiculous so it has turned into a playful war with Carl and Amy hiding Pancake Cat in various places for the other to find. Sarah made a card, and I got Carl socks with potatoes on them that say “respect the potato.” In case you don’t know, Amy affectionately calls Carl a potato and has been doing so for years.
Yesterday we went to a pool party that ended with fireworks. The weather was perfect, the food delicious, the company enjoyable, and the fireworks . . . a good lesson for me. I knew ahead of time that there would be fireworks and yet somehow it was only once they started that I remembered to panic about Sarah and seizures. The last time Sarah saw fireworks in person was a few years ago at a large venue and we were close enough that we felt the booms in our bodies. Sarah was overloaded and that night she had a seizure. Although that was a few years ago, we have avoided seeing fireworks in person ever since. Yesterday was on a much smaller scale but no one can issue a guarantee that things will be ok or go a certain way until you are looking back with hindsight. So, I learned that I was a bit traumatized by the previous fireworks experience. I also learned that I don’t always know how things will go. Sarah was fine! She slept peacefully. I was surprised that I slept peacefully too because I expected myself to keep vigilant ears tuned to her all night long. I think I was just too tired for that. The beauty of this is that now we know we can safely attend in-person fireworks with the friends who hosted the party. It is a small enough scale to be ok for Sarah. Sarah and Amy both enjoyed the sparklers and played safely with them. I might have been too scared to let them try but I need not have worried. But when has not needing to worry ever stopped me from worrying?! What has been helping me in various worryful moments is to remind myself that I just don’t know how things will go.
May you not always know. Unless you are attending Camp Anna, and then you know.
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