To sleep or not to sleep, that is the question.
Whether to easily go to sleep after your parent has bade you goodnight,
Or to go through your checklist of things that need to be changed
Curtains open?
Mom, I want them closed!
Curtains closed?
Dad, I want them open!
Make many trips to the bathroom in the hope that a “last pee” will help you sleep
But then call out for someone to bring you water…
This has been our experience around Sarah’s sleeping for months now. I realized she perhaps had her own checklist, not of what she needed to do or ask for, but about my own responses to her because they were perhaps so predictable. I would sometimes be quick and caring and other times ignore her until I snapped and was mad. Eventually, I shared all of this with one of the people I go to for help with how I am moving through my own life. She suggested that, in the half hour Carl or I spend with Sarah every night before saying goodnight, we explain to her how much we love her and that we are not going to respond to her calls for us because we love her and she is capable of taking care of what she needs herself. This helped me get clear in my own mind so that I stopped feeling guilty when I ignore her calls and I don’t snap and speak sternly (aside from last night when we had company and I didn’t want her to wake the whole house). I’m relieved to have the clarity, and sometimes it seems to help Sarah settle more quickly. I also can’t believe I didn’t see what I needed to do. We have been down this road so many times over the years regarding sleep and the boundaries we need to set lovingly, clearly, and firmly. Somehow this time the specifics were different enough that I didn’t realize we were revisiting familiar ground.
We still don’t know the underlying reason that Sarah is having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep. Sometimes she falls asleep when I am sitting with her but then wakes suddenly without my having moved. We are waiting for a 24-hour EEG and to talk with a sleep doctor. I called to make those appointments at the end of the summer, but everything is always a wait.
Last weekend Carl took the girls to the pumpkin farm we visit every year. They have pumpkins and lots of fun activities. Sarah loved the school bus filled with dry corn kernels and the firetruck she could pretend to drive. Amy loved hanging out with her friends who always join this outing and the slide that you go in a tube. I was still in San Diego with my friend so I missed the pumpkins, but I did go on a whale watching trip. We saw whales! I also had to work to keep from getting sea sick, and it was almost comical how many people were dealing with sea sickness. I know it wasn’t fun or funny for them, but it was absurd how many people were affected.
Sarah had an unusual school week because there was no school on Wednesday. All of the grades except for seniors were taking standardized tests for half of the day and then going home, so seniors didn’t go in at all. Amy had an unusual school week because it was Expedition Week and they went to museums three days in a row and then worked on presentations about something they liked from one of the museums. Friday was a day off. For one of the days she was at a museum that is in walking distance from our house, but unfortunately that was not the end of her school day. She rode a bus six times that day and had lunch at the pizza place that is a five minute walk from our house.
This weekend we have enjoyed a wonderful visit with Mom-Mom. We walked in the woods (Carl moving large tree branches off of the path and the rest of us moving smaller sticks but pretending to strain with the effort), rode a Zipline, and played Mouse Match (Sarah’s favorite game at the moment). The rest of us also played Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza, which involved much hilarity and table slapping. Basically, when certain cards come up you have to do an action and slap the pile of cards, or just slap the pile of cards. You are trying to be the first to slap the pile so that you don’t have to take the cards. Amy won both times we played. We are telling ourselves it is because she is younger that her reflexes are faster.
Lastly, you may recall that Amy often refers to Carl as Potato. This has been going on for years and results in many potato-related jokes, such as my brother saying he and Carl are “best spuds.” Recently, Carl started giving Amy a new name every day, always related to vegetables, legumes, or fruit. Amy keeps a list so she can make sure Carl comes up with something new each day. Somehow one evening, the question became, “what ice cream would you be?” Carl came up with a description of Amy if she were an ice cream flavor, including chocolate and strawberries of course. Amy then described Carl’s ice cream flavor as being vanilla with caramel and butterfingers. She said I would be dark chocolate with ribbons of raspberry throughout and whipped cream and a blueberry on top. I asked what Sarah would be. Carl responded a la Sarah’s favorite song from Frog and Toad, “She’d be strawberry, blueberry, raspberry, chocolate, cherry-bean, and vanilla!” The real song is longer and Sarah’s version changes some of the words, but we always have a good time referencing it whenever someone is going to give a list of choices. Of course, if Sarah was to be a flavor, she would be this favorite song.
May your sleep be sound and your stomach steady through any rough patches.
Leave a Reply