July 7: Ice Cream and More Ice Cream

A week ago we spent a very hot Sunday morning in a small Pride Parade. Since we missed the main Pittsburgh Pride Parade, I was glad we could do this one, but if I had known how long of walk it was I might have had us turn back part way through. By the time we got to the ending destination the girls were wilted. We had some food and then Carl sat in the shade with the girls while I walked briskly back to the car so I could retrieve them in air conditioned comfort.

In general, I am enjoying having my days open to spend time with my offspring, even if some moments are stressful. Many moments have also felt luxurious and full of quintessential summery-ness. We have gotten ice cream 5 days in a row! We have discovered new places with a range of dairy-free options, one of which is Amy’s new favorite place: SubZero in Shadyside. You can create basically any flavor combination you want and have it turn from a liquid into ice cream before your eyes. We also enjoyed Page’s Dairy Mart on the Southside, where you can get any flavor of softserve as dairy-full or dairy-free.

Monday Amy had an echocardiogram to make sure that whatever hypermobility seems to be behind her scoliosis didn’t also impact her heart with a prolapsed valve. I am waiting to hear from the doctor, but I have been able to read through the printed results and I think she is in the clear. That was a loooong morning. Since we were at the hospital anyway we got her bloodwork, ordered by the genetics doctors for the similar reason of understanding anything that may be behind the scoliosis. Amy was really really really not looking forward to the bloodwork. As luck would have it, the nurse was wonderful and Amy barely felt a thing. She said the part that hurt the most was the band around her upper arm.

Amy had two art related play sessions with her bestie on Wednesday, one guided by the mother of Amy’s bestie and one by Anna. While the CAPA (Creative And Performing Arts) portfolio and application aren’t due for months, there is a lot that needs to be done between now and then. We are so lucky to have artists in our lives to help make it less overwhelming and more fun. Sarah usually makes art during the home sessions too so it is a good activity for all.

Wednesday evening, Carl and I celebrated our twenty-second anniversary a bit early since he will be out of town for the actual day. On our way home Sarah called us, as she had on a previous occasion when we went out for dinner. This time she wasn’t upset or missing us; she just wanted to talk. She asked us how our dinner was and what we had eaten. It is amazing to be able to have a real phone conversation with her, however stilted and punctuated by long gaps of silence. We never succeeded in learning what she had for dinner, but she stayed on the phone with us for our whole drive home.

Since our mornings are relaxed timing-wise, I have started having Sarah fix her own breakfast with minimal help. During the school year I have always made her breakfast because her timing is so tight, but now I think she may be able to continue these preparations once school resumes. She gets her meds and makes her hot chocolate. I have been helping a bit with the miralax measurement but can probably pass that job over to her as well. She prepares cereal, yogurt, a bagel, or scrambled eggs. As with so many skills, she is more capable than I may think, and I just need to get out of the way. It is helpful to have my own schedule be more open. I need to feel quite relaxed about timing to allow or ask others do to things rather than doing them myself. This includes having the girls strip their beds, wash their sheets, and remake their beds, which they also did this week.

Thursday we thought we were going to attend a pool party, but missed the email that it was cancelled due to illness. We learned that on the doorstep of the people who had planned to host it. Amy had the idea to mitigate our disappointment by going to get ice cream at SubZero, since Carl had never been. I called to make sure they were open and was told they were open until 10pm. Unfortunately, as we walked up, we were told that they had to close that minute due to a family emergency! Two strikes in a row. Fortunately, Millie’s Ice Cream was just down the street so we walked there. As we traversed the pavement, Amy drooping with disappointment, we heard someone call her name. A friend of hers had just pulled up with her family! All was right with the world again. Remarkably, the next day we ran into the same friend in the same spot but at a totally different time of day when we were about to successfully enjoy SubZero!

Carl left yesterday morning for an Atlantic crossing with Grandpa on the Queen Mary 2, so the girls and I are on our own for the next 10 days. We went on a long walk to Squirrel Hill, also in hotter sun than I had anticipated. We had planned to walk to a bookstore and then go to a bakery. The bakery plan was purely artistic and selfless on my part. Amy needs to draw things from observation for her application to CAPA. She doesn’t like drawing things from observation, so I thought if she was depicting delicious things we would later eat that it would be more fun. In practice this was still stressful for her and we both learned some things to work on for her next attempt. Anyway, when we got to the shopping area of Squirrel Hill, wilted again, we decided to get lunch before making our other stops. Before heading home we stopped at Rita’s. I was proud of myself for thinking to bring bus passes for the girls so we could all ride the bus home. I was also proud of myself for navigating that, regardless of how simple it was, because I am not a confident or skilled bus rider. But I want to fix that! And I want the girls to be more confident riders than I ever have been. We finished the day with a cooler, flatter, shorter walk around the neighborhood. What was remarkable is that I didn’t tell the girls they had to go with me for the second walk. I just said I was going for a walk and anyone was welcome to come with me. Normally Sarah has not been one to go on walks unless there is a specific destination. We arranged our walk so that at each intersection we took turns deciding which way to go. It is fun to see different parts of the neighborhood than I do when I go on my solo walks where I tend so stick to one route.

Other highlights from the week include water balloons with Amy’s bestie. Our hose fitting was so tight that Carl needed a wrench to get the sprayer off of the hose so the water balloon assembly could be attached. After that, Sarah, Amy, and Amy’s bestie were an efficient team of three every time they wanted to put a new water balloon kit on the hose. Sarah screwed the attachment into place and then the bestie held the hose while Amy used the wrench to turn the lever that controlled the water flow. Another day, the girls and I went to the Mattress Factory museum. While there are many pieces there that I cannot understand as art at all, we did enjoy the rooms with dots and mirrors, along with the small bit of flowing water just outside the museum.

Amy has been acquiring various items of my clothing now that she is half an inch shy of my height and one shoe size shy of my feet. She donned what used to be my red dress and red sparkly sweater, a pair of red shoes that are technically still mine, and costume jewelry and make up to create the look of Effie from the Hunger Games, complete with a very serious expression. What is the most remarkable is seeing her dressed as me, but not me. It is like I’m seeing my past self standing live in front of my current self.

Lots of love to all of you. May you have shade and your favorite ice cream when things get too hot.

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