Astronauts get a reentry shield when they have been in space and are going to return to earth. I think I need a reentry shield when I have been on an easy, quiet vacation filled with reading, a person who picks up after herself, and no cats to be herded when it is time to go somewhere. Although I missed Carl and the girls when I was away with my mom, it was a rough reentry for me emotionally. I wanted to return full of love and spaciousness, but instead I felt tight and grumpy. Every bit of mess was just too much, even though there was actually no urgent need to put away clean laundry or make Sarah’s room traversable. I felt like I lost any spacious ease I sometimes have around Sarah’s repetitions. My momming muscles atrophied! I am finally back in the swing of things, able to deal with or tolerate the piles of stuff around the house, and almost back to being able to respond enthusiastically to the umpteenth question about what is for dinner or the thousandth declaration of love for Granddad in an hour.
I wonder sometimes how or how much to respond to Sarah’s, “I love you, Granddad” directed at me. Do I ignore it and let him answer in spirit? Do I say, “I love you, Sarah” or “And he loves you” as I often do? Do I say, “Do you perhaps want to tell me you love me?” so I then get an, “I love you, Mom,” which is always nice to hear. I mean, I love Granddad too! But sometimes it is hard to always play second fiddle. I also struggle with how to respond when Sarah is clearly wanting me to ask her questions as if she is Granddad. How much do I go with her imagination and how much do I steer towards reality?
On Monday morning, Carl and I passed the childcare baton after only one full day at home together. He departed for a work trip early Monday morning and took the red-eye home Tuesday night so he could pick Sarah up from school on Wednesday. I was co-presenting for a webinar that overlapped with Sarah’s dismissal time. I was anxious about the webinar and making sure pickup would go smoothly. Everything did in fact go smoothly! Although Carl and Sarah had to make sure they didn’t return home too early, so they suffered through a trip to Rita’s. If you have a story you are wanting to share and haven’t decided whether to write a memoir or create a work of fiction, Julie Ryan McGue and I are doing the webinar one more time on Oct 27 at 1:30. If you are interested but can’t attend at that time, you can still sign up and then you will receive the recording to watch at your leisure.
Amy marveled that starting Wednesday evening both Carl and I have been in the same city. She had a creative week, as usual, dressing thematically each day to reference a different character from Monster High. One day she borrowed a tie from Carl to complete her look.
Yesterday was a gorgeous, sunny day. It was perfect for decorating our porch for Halloween while listening to the Halloween playlist Amy made. In the afternoon, Amy and her friends took a bus to a film festival. How do I have such a grown-up? Carl and Grandpa took Sarah to meet the Best Buddies group and participate in the Duquesne homecoming parade. Then they all watched the football game. Sarah was most excited to receive a new t-shirt. Carl and Grandpa bought Duquesne Dad, Duquesne Mom, and Duquesne Grandparent shirts, so now we all get to feel extra old as we marvel that we qualify to wear such garments. Since Carl and I clearly just graduated from college a few years ago, this is really a strange warping of the space-time continuum.
Wishing you all reentry shields when you need them.
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