October 13

I am safely home after a wonderful time in England. My class was amazing and I learned so much. Then I spent a few days with my wonderful friend E. We went on a bus tour for a day to see Stonehenge and the Roman Baths at Bath (pronounced Baahth). The next day we walked around Notting Hill, found some great items of clothing at a vintage market (apparently 1970s means vintage – does that mean I am vintage?), and did a chocolate tasting/making experience. Travel home yesterday went smoothly and I have restocked my supply of snuggles. There’s nothing quite like having two children climbing and draping themselves on you and giving you chin presses for minutes on end. Sarah also repeatedly asked if I brought them presents. Sometimes I miss the mark with presents, but this time I hit it well. I got Amy a scarf that is pink and has white cats on it. Sarah received a white scarf with black musical notes on staffs with the treble clef. She loves it. She spreads it out on my bed and looks at it and talks about it. They also love the Jaffa Cakes with “the smashing orangey bit.”

Yesterday the girls had taken their baths (baahths?) and done hair washing. Except Sarah’s hair didn’t get the shampoo fully rinsed out, so when we noticed this we had to fix the situation, much to Sarah’s loud chagrin. She tried to rinse it on her own at the sink but then she got shampoo in her eyes. We tried to help and managed to rinse out enough, but Sarah was screaming and crying. When she came down to dinner a bit later she told me she was sorry that she didn’t like showers! Oh, my dear girl! I told her she didn’t need to apologize for that and that it is totally ok that she doesn’t like showers. Still, it is nice that she realized it was a difficult time in part because she didn’t just get in the tub and use the shower to rinse her hair. I also had to assure Amy that we weren’t mad or disappointed in her because of Sarah’s shampoo situation, since it was Amy in charge of bath time, but then rinsing got tricky because of shampoo in the eyes at that moment too.

I’m so grateful to have had my time away and I’m so glad to be back and to really feel that I’m an important part of things here. I mean, of course I am, but now I can feel it more comfortably rather than as a stressful load of too much (that may kick in in a few days). Of course everyone managed beautifully without me, but things are certainly easier when I’m here. Whenever I come back from being away I notice that Amy’s feelings are a little closer to the surface. She is more quick to cry. I think maybe she holds it all together a bit when I’m gone and then needs some days to let it out once I’m home. I soak it all up and it comes with extra snuggles. At least for a few hours yesterday and so far this morning, I’ve been able to still feel the spacious, flexible, grounded support within myself and my world that I felt increase during my class with all that I learned. The trick is to be able to write that and then still feel it after I send this update!

Also, how is it that when I’m gone for a week my children grow up by a year??

Lots of love to all of you.

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